Thoughts rush
Soothing feeling
Yet so electrifying
The pencil twitching
The pace of words flowing
Too swift for the hand to obey
Shattered reflections
Start to recollect
Creations coming together
As one
Monday, April 25, 2011
Your Fictions Become History
Author's note: I wrote this a while back, during the field trip, and never really liked how it came out. During the break, though, I looked at it some more and thought that I could revise it a bit to make it sound better. I liked this outcome a lot more than the other, so I decided to post it.
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I liked the concept of this poem, and I thought you conveyed what your perspective well. Although it would be nice if in the authors not you gave more of a description on what you were thinking when you wrote this.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is really simple yet really good. What you were trying to say with it came through really well.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Caitlin a more in detail author's note would have been helpful, but I thought that this was really good. Like Alyssa said short but you proved that you could get your point across and I really liked this.
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ReplyDeleteSorry about deleting the comment above, I had a little trouble typing there... but I wanted to say that I really liked this poem, although I do agree with Caitlin in saying that you could add a bit more of what your thoughts on the painting were, or what you were trying to convey in this poem into the author's note. I found it really creative how you increased the number of lines in each stanza, it was really cool.
ReplyDeleteAs others above me have said I really liked this poem, but I think it would help if you gave more of a description of what you were thinking when you wrote it. I thought that it went really nicely with the picture though, nice job!
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